


Bro Night

by Lexebug



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ;))))), Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs, John is not a homosexual, M/M, Platonic Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 19:32:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15444252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexebug/pseuds/Lexebug
Summary: “Hey John,” he says after you had beat his ass in Maple Leaf Falls for probably the fourth time at least, “how would you feel if I said I wanted to suck your dick?”





	Bro Night

**Author's Note:**

> My boyf told me to post my porn so here it is

You and Dave were having a “Bro Night”, as he called it, which basically meant you were sitting and watching movies Dave chose, and laughing at Dave when he lost at Mario Kart. There was a two-liter of Mountain Dew on your coffee table, but neither of you had touched it; you had started to wonder if it was just part of some weird, gamer aesthetic he was going for. It wasn’t really working, considering you were wearing a “KISS THE COOK” shirt that Dad bought you, and he was wearing a matching shirt that said “I’M THE COOK” and had refused to take it off. 

“Hey John,” he says after you had beat his ass in Maple Leaf Falls for probably the fourth time at least, “how would you feel if I said I wanted to suck your dick?” You drop the Wii remote into your lap, turning to stare at him. He tilts his head, light glinting off his shades.

“W-what?” He shrugs at you, going back to the menu and opening the Mii channel. 

“Hypothetically, I mean. For practice, or something.” He was making an insulting Mii of you. Of course he was. 

“Well, I mean, I would be confused, first of all!” You fluster at him. You ARE confused. It’s a confusing question! “What do you mean, practice?” 

“You know I’m not straight, and the first time I suck dick, I want it to be someone I trust to not punch me if it’s bad, or some shit.” Okay he. Kind of has a point? You guess? “Keep in mind, all hypothetical.” 

You deliberate for a few moments. That’s, admittedly, kind of gay. You… may have been considering the possibility that you weren’t exactly straight, but god, you didn’t expect to have to deal with that just yet. So, con, you have to deal with a quickly impending sexuality crisis. Pros? You get a blowjob. That’s kind of a pro? Even if it’s a dude. Even if it’s Dave. Is it being Dave a pro or a con?

You can just. Pretend it’s a girl. Right? Because when Dave says something is hypothetical, it’s definitely not hypothetical. You sigh, and turn your head because there is no goddamn way you can look him in the face and say that.

“Hypothetically, I would do it, out of honor for my best bro. Hypothetically.” Predictably, Dave already knew that you knew that he wasn’t kidding, but just in case, he puts a hand on your thigh. Like he’s checking it’s ok. You nod, and he nods back, satisfied. 

He slides down, off the couch, until he’s kneeling on the floor. Between your legs. You guess this is happening. Like, HAPPENING happening. For real, right now, occurring. You can’t be hard right now, you are far too nervous. Dave’s fingers fumble on the hem of your pajama pants, and when he pulls them down he half-gasps because fuck, somehow you’re hard. “Jesus, already John?” He chuckles and his laugh blows right over your dick and fuck, it’s weird, weird in an anticipatey way and it makes your breath catch a little in your throat. 

Dave hesitates before he actually touches you, puts his fingers too gently on your hips; a part of you wants him to grip harder, but the thought gets pushed from your mind when he presses his face forward and mouths your cock through the fabric; a shudder runs through your ribs, and you try not to let it show. He is literally licking your dick through your boxers, and you’re pretty sure it isn’t supposed to be as hot as it is.

He pulls down the hem of your boxers even more slowly, and before he even gets them all the way down he stops to run a nervous hand through his hair and pull his shades off, setting them on the coffee table. “You sure you want to do this?” He whispers, and he’s right, it feels like a whispering situation. You nod, and he finishes pulling down your boxers.

“Woah,” he half-whispers, not even a full whisper can be allowed to disturb the weird, serene atmosphere you’ve got right now. 

“What?” 

“I just-I wasn’t expecting it to be so big.” 

You look at him distastefully. “First of all, rude. Second of all, it’s like, average dick size, dude.” He shakes his head, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles on your hips.

“John, you seem like the kind of dude with a four-inch dick. Not that that’s a bad thing, but Jesus, this has gotta be, what, at least five and a half?” You shrug, a little bitterly. Sorry you aren’t in the habit of measuring your junk. So sue you. It’s not even big. Dave is just a weird pervert. Who apparently might know dick sizes. Weird.

You watch a little nervously as Dave kind of…. hovers over your dick, not touching it, just NEAR it. You’re getting close to snapping at him when his tongue darts out and flicks over the tip, and you promptly shut up. He does it again, longer this time, and okay maybe Dave isn’t the worst at blowjobs. His left hand comes off your hip and starts working at the base of your cock, while he licks his lips nervously and gently puts his mouth on the head of your dick.

Jesus FUCK. It might be because you’ve never gotten a blowjob, but god, is it supposed to feel like this? It feels. Weird. In a good way, you think, but also in a your-teeth-are-very-close-to-my-genitals way and it kind of makes you nervous but whatever Dave is doing feels really, really good. His left hand is still jacking off what he can’t reach, and he pauses to take a breath and swipes his thumb over your slit. Then he licks up your shaft and fucking. Takes a good half of your dick in his mouth and holy fuck that’s more good than weird that’s really good. Then he bobs his head, and you can feel his tongue on your fucking dick, and you kind of spiral downward from there.

At some point his other hand leaves your hip, to go to places unknown, but you can’t really bring yourself to care, because he keeps alternating between sucking and jerking you off and it’s so fucking good, god, he’s fantastic at this, and you’re having trouble keeping your hips from stuttering up into his mouth. He pulls off with a gross, wet sound and looks at you, tosses his hair back and fucking grins at you, hand still on your dick. “Don’t try and stop yourself, okay? I can take it.” You nod, breathless, wordless, and he goes back to his previous routine. 

You let your hips snap up once and he fucking wasn’t lying, he can take this. He must have practiced somehow, right? You do it again and he makes the most beautiful noise, muffled by your dick in his mouth, and that spurs you on. You gently, carefully, fuck his face, let him take about three-quarters of you in his mouth, make sure he can breathe even if you’re having some trouble with that yourself. He’s still keeping a steady rhythm while he jacks you off, and god, it feels amazing. He’s unfairly good at this.

One of your hands winds up in his hair and he makes this breathy little moaning sound when you tug, so you tug harder, and he outright whines, sends a shot of heat into your pelvis, makes your hips buck up harder. You thread your other hand in his hair and he makes the most fantastic noise when you pull with both hands, and you think you’re close. 

Fuck. You’re so close. You know he knows. You know he knows you know. How do you deal with this? Is he gonna swallow? Is there, like a napkin somewhere nearby? He gives your head an insistent lick, and you buck shallowly into his mouth. Fuuuuck. “Dave-Dave, I think I’m gonna, soon, fuck,” He is whimpering on your dick and it is the hottest thing you have seen in your entire life.

He pops off, panting, one hand jerking you like his life depends on it. You search for the other one and, holy fucking shit, he’s touching himself. At some point he pulled his pants down and he’s jacking himself off, he’s this turned on because of you, you got him this desperate, YOU are the one making him make those amazing little moans, and that’s what pushes you over the edge. Your toes curl and you’re sure you let out some sort of embarrassing noise, but you don’t notice because Dave pushes his face towards you and opens his mouth and then you’re painting his face with cum. 

He shudders a moment later, hips stuttering and he fucking moans loud as shit while you’re still fucking cumming on his goddamn face, and you breathe heavily while you slowly come down from whatever the fuck just happened. When you open your eyes again, Dave winks, and flicks out his tongue to lick a little of the mess all over his face. You snicker and search around for something suitable to wipe all this shit up with. He’s scrubbing at his face with something, and he throws a balled-up piece of fabric at you. “Dude, did you wipe off jizz with my favorite ghost tee?” You ask, scandalized, and Dave chuckles.

“Yes. I just gave you the fucking best blowjob you’ll ever get, you can take the loss.” He settles back in his spot on the couch, pants back on. When you’re both decent, he wipes his mouth again and hands you a Wii remote. “Wanna play again?” You nod, and try and ignore how much you actually enjoyed whatever it was that just happened. It was just practice. Right?

**Author's Note:**

> Yeet


End file.
